Love was right in front of me

February 28, 2018

Dating as a single mom has always been somewhat of an adventure the last four years.  I found that dating at this point in my life is much better than in my 20’s.  Why? I know who I am, I am more confident in who I am, I am a happier version of myself at thirty-three, I have accepted my body for what it is after having a child, I am now the person I am meant to be.  I am independent, self sufficient, have been raising a phenomenal almost 4 year old by myself as a single parent. Yes I have had relationships that helped me along the way but at the end of the day he is a product of my way of parenting.  They say sex is good in your thirties because we as women are at our prime.  It also has a lot todo with being comfortable in our own skin and as moms we by now have learned to love ourselves because we are Fing amazing.  Get ready because I am about to tell you my deepest darkest secret about how love was right in front of me.

 

Two and half years ago I began working in a bar as a bartender for one of my close friends. I was shy, insecure and didn’t know how my introvert self was going to sling drinks for a living. But it happened I began to become a secure and better version of myself. I had to because it was my new way to support myself and Rowan.

 

Let’s rewind to two years ago when I met Andy. I remembered the second time he came in to the bar apparently to see me because I don’t remember the first. The way we had conversations, the way he looked at me and talked to me with the utmost respect.  I told him I was a single mom but at the time had a boyfriend whom I lived with.  We maintained a strictly just friends relationship for two years. He was the “NICE GUY”, the one who scared me to trust it. It is super shitty that nice guys usually finish last isn’t it.  Us women are stupid and like the unhealthy bad boys who treat us like shit and don’t appreciate us.  I am a victim of this unfortunately but its okay because I am who I am.  Andy used to bring me coffee into work when he would come see me on the random, brought me NyQuil and DayQuil when I was dying at work one night ( and I’m not talking generic LOL).  And for Rowans birthday last year he actually got him a birthday present that he still to this day plays with. At that time he had never met my son but he loved both of us so well without any of us realizing it. This is the man who treated me with such kindness and such a loving friendship over the years I had no idea LOVE was sitting with me at the bar on random nights. He stopped coming in to see me because he knew I wasn’t going to date a customer as I had made that clear on many occassions and I was still seeing someone on a complicated level.  He had a crush on me big and I adored the shit out of him but my stubborn ass avoided it until I knew I was ready and healthy again.

 

So about 6 weeks ago I texted him the words…  “It’s ok you don’t love me anymore…I miss you”.  And he responded with “it’s been too long, I would love to see u!!”

That’s where our love story began.  We decided on him coming over that following Monday night for a movie after I put Rowan to bed.  That night I was so nervous to see him it had been months since he had been in to see me at work.  It was that moment I realized okay this is a good feeling, the anxiety to see him again. Normally I would NEVER have someone to our safe place but I have had a friendship with this man so I felt comfortable with this option. We had an amazing time catching up for a few hours before he headed home and that Thursday he took me on a dinner date, it was that moment when I knew he is the one for me.  It’s funny how I fought our connection for so long out of fear for something actually being healthy. I had the man of my dreams and what I needed in my life sitting right in front of me patiently waiting for me to be emotionally ready to let him in.  Although it’s only been a month since our first official first date at LTH I know without a doubt he will someday complete our family.  We can’t help how we fall in love and to what degree or speed it just happens. My love for him is so different than my past this feels real and genuine and I see myself someday having more babies, getting married and growing old with him. HOLY COW right?! The girl who said no to marriage ever again and was content with her life as a single mom is actually admitting that this man changed her mind. I have watched the man who is so genuine and sweet with us, I adore the shit out of of friends and family.  Seeing where he comes from has been the icing on the cake nobody has a negative thing to say about him, how did I get so lucky guys?  Our love story is still developing but I can honestly say its healthy and real. Every conversation, every moment we spend together I feel the happiest I have ever been in a relationship.  The way he has always treated me and my son is everything I have dreamed of.

The nice guy didn’t finish last this time. He got the girl. I am the LUCKIEST woman alive to call him my boyfriend. The single mom finally is getting her chance at real love.